Human Wise
Host and expert coach Helen Wada is a strong believer in the commercial advantage of being human at work.
With over 25 years commercial experience, Helen has seen an opportunity for businesses to do things differently – a sweet spot where a coaching approach and commercial focus can co-exist to build a more human working world.
This podcast is for anyone in business who believes that a better way of working is out there: better for teams, for organisations and, ultimately, for society as a whole.
We'll hear from senior leaders, founders, people on the ground and professionals from a variety of different disciplines, learning from their unique wisdom and experience.
So, if you're ready to make the human advantage your commercial advantage, join Helen and guests every other week on all major podcast directories.
Human Wise
Ep35: Mastering Presence and Connection in Business Communication with Dominic Colenso
Welcome to Human Wise, the podcast that explores the commercial advantage of being human at work.
With host Helen Wada, executive coach and founder of The Human Advantage, each episode will explore what being human at work looks like across a wide range of industries, from people in senior management to those on the ground.
Transform your ability to communicate effectively with Dominic Colenso, a former actor turned communication expert, in this riveting episode of the Human Wise Podcast. Dominic joins host Helen to discuss how his background in the arts has equipped him to help leaders and teams elevate their presentation and pitching skills in the business world.
Discover the secrets of controlling your energy, the power of presence, and how to truly connect with your audience by stripping back your message to its core essence. Dominic delves into the fundamentals of storytelling, emphasizing authenticity and vulnerability to foster genuine human connections.
Whether you're an executive looking to refine your pitch, a coach aiming to improve client interactions, or someone seeking to enhance their daily communications, this episode equips you with the tools to communicate with poise and impact. Don't miss out on practical insights and transformative tips to help you stand out in any setting!
Topics Discussed:
- Effective communication in pitch situations
- Importance of presence and mindfulness
- Storytelling for business success
- Building genuine human connections
- Managing energy and presentation skills
Further links to follow:
Helen Wada: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/helen-wada
The Human Advantage: https://www.thehumanadvantage.co.uk/
Ep. 35. Mastering Presence and Connection in Business Communication with Dominic Colenso Human Wise Podcast
[00:00:00]
Introduction and Guest Welcome
Helen Wada: Hello and welcome to another episode of Human Wise. I'm absolutely delighted to have a fellow author with me. Although Dominic, you are already ahead of me because you've already got one book that's shining in the background the, a book on impact. But Dominic and I met last year in our book publishing course with practical inspiration and immediately connected around the power of.
Connection, communication and generally being more of you in what you do. So [00:01:00] welcome Dominic. Not only were you a former actor, I'll let you tell us a little bit more about that in a moment, but you now are an author, a speaker, and work with people to really perfect their pitch technique, I think it's fair to say.
And presentations. So wonderful to have you on the show and.
Dominic Colenso: you for asking me.
Helen Wada: No worries. Tell us a little bit more before we get into, tell us a little bit more.
The Importance of Presence and Communication
Helen Wada: We're talking about being human. Who are you behind the sort of the headphones and the.
Dominic Colenso: There's a big question, isn't it? I suppose, firstly, I'm a husband and a dad. I think that's probably the most important part of my identity right now. Having a young human out in the world, trying to help them navigate it and not, you know, helicopter parent too much and, you know, let them fall over and scrape their knees.
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: And when I'm not doing that I tend to be helping people, as you say, communicate with more impact. So whether that's in a pitching context, whether that's leadership [00:02:00] teams, whether that's working one-to-one, often with kind of senior execs who want to be able to go out there and tell a story, build a narrative, take.
Take people on a journey. So I've drawn on the foundations of my acting and directing career and that toolkit that I developed at that stage in my life, and I now take it around the world to whoever will listen uh, And try and help them, you know, probably be more of them, to
Helen Wada: Uh, That's awesome. And, you know, you can always tell sort of the confidence and that you come across with. And I think it's that, you know, it's sometimes when I'm working with people when I'm coaching it's that, isn't it? It's people say to me, why are they listened to? Why are they hurt?
And what is it that we can do to improve our impact? To improve our presence and connection. 'cause that's what really comes down to, you know, humanity. At the end of the day, we are a [00:03:00] collection of individuals and human beings. It's not one organization talking to another organization. And you know, it's interesting taking you back to your acting days.
What is it that you saw from your experiences and what you did through the screen? That you translate to business today, particularly with that human being at the heart of what you do.
Dominic Colenso: I, I think you look at great performers, when you look at, you know, actors on stage or actors on screen, I. The thing that they really have is presence. You know, we say that actors got great screen presence or great stage presence. And interestingly, I think what that translates to is an ability to be in the here and now. so with all of the great actors that I've been lucky enough to work with when they stepped out onto stage, or when the director shouted action. In that moment, nothing else [00:04:00] mattered other than the relationship between the
two
characters or the three characters or the 10 characters in the scene. And you know, we live in such a busy world, don't we?
Helen Wada: Yeah. Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: bombarded with noise and it's really difficult sometimes, I think to switch that off and to be people in the moment. And you see it in, in meetings, you know, my heart sinks when you walk into a boardroom and everyone opens up their laptops and you're just like, oh my God.
Like the stop. There are.
are.
are other people here, we need to, you know, talk with each other. Commune,
Helen Wada: Yes.
Dominic Colenso: Have that opportunity to to be seen and be heard.
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: Sometimes we put a lot of barriers in the way to that.
Helen Wada: Yeah I think you're right. And I have similar conversations. The groups that I coach, you know, we're talking about being focused and present and, you know, the mobile phone will come onto the lap. And we are kind of just checking. Check it. You can't [00:05:00] see me.
Dominic Colenso: honestly. no,
Helen Wada: and look, we're not all perfect, right?
I'm gonna hands up, right? We do it. But I know when I've done that, that I'm not listening. And you talk about having many humans in your life. I have two. They were used to be mini humans. They're now 13 and 15. And so.
they're rapidly getting bigger.
But there is something about when we think about communicating, it's not just in the office environment actually it's with our teams, it's with our customers, it's with our stakeholders, but it's also with our families
Dominic Colenso: round the round, the dinner
Helen Wada: around the dinner table.
I mean, you will have done the same, you know, you go and eat out at a restaurant and I dunno whether me, this is me showing my age, but. When I met my husband and we used to go on dates aren't any dates going on anymore? But anyway maybe we would resort to our phones, you know, you've got people together, they just sat on their phones
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: And there is something that's like, how have we got to a place where we really do need to [00:06:00] drive again, this focus on presence?
Mindfulness and Quiet Time
Helen Wada: Because for me it's about building a muscle.
Dominic Colenso: Right.
Helen Wada: And, you know, I did struggle with mindfulness when I first came into to coaching. It's, you know, a skill that we talk about a lot, but actually I really struggle with it because my mind was a busy mind. I'm a mom of two, I've got work, I've got other interests.
All that, you know, there's a lot going on and I think we do need to train ourselves to think about that focus and that presence that you talked about in the acting world.
Dominic Colenso: absolutely. I think, and it's interesting isn't it, with those sorts of labels sometimes. I mean, I would say I have a mindfulness practice, a meditation
I think sometimes those things can be. A little off putting for people depending on what stage they're at in,
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: or in the, their kind of focus. but just be to be able to there's a, an author called Trevor g Blake, who talks about it as [00:07:00] quiet time and I really like that. Can you take quiet time? Can you just be having to make noise or listen to noise, but can you just find yourself in that stillness?
And when you do it's incredible.
Be powerful. That's, you know, for me, that's where all the best ideas come. Where all the kind of insight happens is not in the doing, but in the stopping.
Helen Wada: And it's the same as a coach, really. It's how I got to where I am today with the human advantage. You're thinking about being comfortable with silence.
' cause as a coach, you know, I'm listening to you, you are listening to me. Conversation, but so often you are watching as you read a room and people are just thinking about what they want to say next.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah, I, well, I talk a lot about the, you know, the power of the pause and
When you are speaking, your status
increases
massively if you don't have to fill every second.[00:08:00]
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: but as you say, that whole kind of mindset of, am I listening right now? respond or am I really listening to understand?
And they're two very different, you know, places to come from. and for my money the understanding piece, especially from a human connection,
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: perspective, is just paramount.
Helen Wada: Yeah, it's super important. So going back to when you were acting and that getting yourself on stage.
How,
What were some of the skills that you learned to be able to recenter yourself? You know, there's a lot going on. You know, I can imagine lots of people. You've got people behind the cameras, you've got people directing how, what do you do?
How can we learn from the skills that you experienced there and translate them into our world?
Dominic Colenso: So I, I think a very fundamental level, you know, communication is just the transfer of energies between two parties. I have a thought in my head and I have to turn it into some sort of sound waves that have to then [00:09:00] translate into to your ears. And, you know, if we are face to face or we're on screen, then I can add a little bit of body language to that as well. So being able to manage your energy, I think is probably the most important skill that anyone can develop in terms of communication. for some people that's about being able to turn things up and for other people that's about being able to turn things down.
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: And it can be different in different circumstances.
So, you know, if I think back to acting roles sometimes. Before the director said action or before I stepped on stage, it was about, you know, literally bouncing up and down in the wings and you know, getting down and doing some press up and, you know, get building that energy.
Helen Wada: Yeah. Doing what? Doing the,
Dominic Colenso: yeah, exactly. You know, and, you know, especially if I think about Thunderbirds, you know, we are playing superheroes.
It was all about being kind of pumped up all the time in a
Helen Wada: yeah.
Dominic Colenso: really high energy level. Or conversely in you, in some of the theater work that I did, it [00:10:00] was about finding that those deep moments of stillness and quiet be before I went on stage. So it's about re it's about regulation, I suppose. Am an advocate of starting from stillness.
I, I talk a lot about stock before you start, and I think you know, whether you need to go high or you need to go low. need to stop order to make that decision. And I, in a corporate context I see so often taking the energy of one meeting into the next. So they have a bad 9:00 AM and the
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: AM's dreadful.
And you go, why was the 10:00 AM dreadful? And they kind of go I dunno. It's like, well, you didn't. Break the state. You didn't
You didn't, go for a walk or around the garden or when you went to the boil, the kettle you
wrote an
email rather than just taking a deep breath.
Think that sort of ability to stop so, so important.
Helen Wada: yeah. And I think it's finding what works for you as well, isn't it? [00:11:00] Because I think going back to that, that mindfulness, the presence piece, I think where it started, I can't remember where it actually finally clicked for me, where I realized I didn't have to spend 30 minutes on this. That actually it was to your point in that stop, but it was an awareness of where I was at, and that isn't necessarily thinking, but actually it's about tuning into our senses.
The more that we tune into where we are at, the more cognizant we are of whether we are stressed or whether we are energized or, you know, I often ask people when we work in a group, you know, how are you arriving? Not just, how are you, but how are you arriving?
Dominic Colenso: love that.
Helen Wada: Because it, it just adds something. For us to think, do you know what actually it has been chaos or this is, and that's where you actually start to feel a little bit of the human connection and people start to open up a little bit more [00:12:00] rather than let's sit down and get our laptops out.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: Actually, how are you arriving today?
Dominic Colenso: Nice.
Helen Wada: And to bring it forward. But that's the side of arrival piece. We, we are We are there you are in focus. You are, you are You are bringing your presence to the conversation. Then it's about communicating who you are to the people that you're talking to, and particularly when you know, drawing it to your pictures, presentations, customer facing environments.
What is it that gets you from that focus to telling your story? You talk about telling your story. Why? Why do we wanna listen to you?
Dominic Colenso: I think it's a it's such a fundamental piece of. Human connection. And that's not to say that we have to kind of brag or bore or over overshare.
It's just about trying to find some common ground, you know? So even to your, how are you arriving today? If I'm.
Open
and honest, and I go, oh gosh I had I nearly missed the
tube,
and [00:13:00] I'm a little bit stressed.
And then, you know, I couldn't, I, I couldn't remember the code to get in the door. Like all of those things are massively relatable and I, as the audience listening, can step into your shoes. Whereas if I don't give you that context, if I don't tell you that mini story, if I just go, oh yeah, it's a really stressful journey. It's much more difficult for me to relate to what's going on. So I, you know, I'm I never advocate for people sharing all of the skeletons in the closet. It's not.
Helen Wada: Meeting one.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, it's not about therapy, it's just about giving, you know, giving people the opportunity to draw connection to you. And I think it's such a simple thing to do yet many people don't do it.
Helen Wada: I think building on that, I think it's so true. It's what, again, going back to when I was in sales as a client director and people would ask me, why are you good at what you do? And to be honest, I. I didn't know why I could have these [00:14:00] connections, that people would be warm, they would open up to me, we would talk about what was on their mind and they would do so in a free way.
And I look back to the skills, like you were the acting, but the skills as a coach and it's that show, we can only control who we are and how we show up. And very often I think people, you know, I hear people say, well, they weren't very open, or they didn't tell me much and. I would challenge them to say, okay that's fine, but actually how much did you share initially?
Because the more you share of yourself, the more energy you can create and the more others are likely to lean into those stories. And I've had conversations actually where we have got quite deep, quite quickly.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: Just because of something I might have mentioned.
And I talk about it as a window with sort of curtains.
You know, we, you can have your curtains all the way shut or you can open them a little bit and the more open [00:15:00] you get, you know, and it would depend on who you are talking to, whether it's somebody from your team, somebody from your business and your client.
Will shift depending on the situation you're in.
But I think being cognizant of it's super important.
Dominic Colenso: Absolutely. When I was thinking about joining you for this conversation and thinking about that kind of idea of being human at work, I think the thing that to my mind was importance of vulnerability,
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: because I think genuinely with vulnerability comes power. I'd see this from a physical presence perspective.
If I stand. In front of you or sit opposite you in the meeting room, and I am open
and
my body language is open. All of the sensitive areas, all the bits where you could actually do me damage are exposed, right? On a
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: primorial, level. You know, someone could grab their spear and run me through with it. It'd be better for me to put the kind of tough bits in front. You know, [00:16:00] drop a shoulder down, cross my arms, make myself smaller. So by being open, I'm incredibly vulnerable, but there's also a real power in that because I am saying to my audience unconsciously, I'm not scared of you
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: because I can be here like this. And also, you don't need to be scared of me 'cause I've got nothing to hide. I'm, you know, I'm not keeping anything back or keeping anything in reserve. So I think that vulnerability piece is absolutely crucial. I.
Helen Wada: I love that. And I think even just hearing you say that, you know, I'm sitting more upright, right. You know, our shoulders go back. Our head goes up. You can feel your core a lot more, and I think you are engaged. And what it also does is it opens us up to be aware of our senses and what we're feeling through [00:17:00] conversation.
Because I think, you know, and hopefully we'll talk about this in a moment, you know, you can set yourself up, right? But we all know that conversations don't necessarily go according to plan. And so we need to be aware of those senses to be able to tap into them as we go through conversations to be able to adapt to power.
That might be a at play, people that might not be understanding what we're talking about cost wise. How do you see that showing up?
Dominic Colenso: So I, I think. The best communicators, whether that's in a sales context, in a leadership context are the people that are most grounded. So, and there's a huge element of that, which is physical.
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: you know, as we sit having this conversation, my, my feet are firmly planted on the floor. Quite often, you know, you'll see people in slightly confrontational situations or [00:18:00] environments where they feel uncertain and one foot will be tucked beneath the desk and therefore a shoulder will be slightly slumped, and then they'll be constricted through a.
The abdominals, which means that they don't have the space to breathe and like it's just becomes a sort of chain reaction.
So, you know, just paying attention to how you show up and setting yourself up for success. As I said a moment ago, you know, having that openness and that, that vulnerability, but also making sure that comes from a place of strength and that you've got that grounding. They're very unconscious signals that you're sending out to your audience, but they can't fail to be picked up on if you do them well.
Helen Wada: Oh. 'cause I think you flip it to the other way around, we pick up when other people are closed towards us.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: So, so you all know we've all been there, we've all gone into conversations where the arms are crossed or people are not focused or paying attention. Going [00:19:00] back to what we was talking about earlier.
So we all know what it's like to be on the receiving side.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: And if anything, that's a good way to look at it, because how do you feel when somebody is not showing up,
Fully focused, fully present, warm, open.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: So what does that mean for you as you shift the dial? Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: And I think we also have to insulate ourselves from those things a little bit as well. You said earlier, you know, you can only really take responsibility for your part of the equation. And sometimes we'll walk into that meeting and we'll see someone with their arms crossed or looking at their device. And we start to mind read what that means and go, oh, they don't like us. Or they're, you know, they're they're focused on something else.
I.
And that completely pulls us out of being present and
Helen Wada: Yes.
Dominic Colenso: and being in, in the moment. And therefore we do, even if it's on a micro level, we'll start to close [00:20:00] down and we'll get a little bit smaller and, you know, some of the wind comes out of our sails and all of a sudden. You know, the opportunity gets less and less. And it might be that, you know, the pe the reason that person was looking at their phone is not because they don't like you or they didn't that they're not open to what you're having to say, but actually their loved one is the doctors.
And they've just seen a text message saying that, you know, something else is happening in their private lives.
Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Pitches
Dominic Colenso: So we've gotta be really careful about. Projecting our own insecurities
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: onto our audience, essentially.
Helen Wada: Yeah. And you're right, our natural tendencies tend to be to cast, to catastrophize.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: You know, it's something that I've done and as you, you are right you go into the, you almost get smaller. Rather than get bigger. And I think, you know, we've also all come across, you know, power plays people that are setting to test us, maybe particularly in pitch situations, which we'll [00:21:00] talk about pitches.
You know, you will come across somebody and you are planning for a warm, interactive conversation and somebody just sits there and says, what do you gotta say?
Dominic Colenso: And they block. Yeah.
Helen Wada: And they block and you have to be ready to deal with that. What do you suggest in those situations? You know, we work with a lot of people with pictures and things.
You know where you are, you're planning it. Oh, you've spent weeks. You might have sent a document. You've then got this pitch. There's more than one of you. There's often multiple people on your side, multiple people on the other side, and all of a sudden you just get this, well, what do you gotta say?
Strategies for Holding Your Ground
Dominic Colenso: so I think there's a couple of things there. Firstly is. You've gotta, you've gotta hold your own. So when you, if you've walked in and you are open and you're calm, and you are relaxed, and you are met with that kind of passive aggressive brick wall, instinctively you will start to make yourself smaller.
You'll get a little bit tight, you'll stop breathing. So you've gotta work against all [00:22:00] of that
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: stay as open as you possibly can. and then it's just looking for ways to engage. So, you know, trying to find those openings where you can. Ask a question, you can check in. You're just trying to find that tiny little chink in the armor.
And if you are. Persistent and not aggressive. And you know, that you really pay attention and listen to the signals that are being given normally because we are human beings. Even
the toughest procurement teams there,
Helen Wada: Oh, we love them. Really, don't we? We love them.
Dominic Colenso: exactly, there's a human being in there somewhere.
And if you can find a way to connect with that, you know, then they might not be, you know, having a joke with you and talking about their weekend, but you're much more likely to get them on board. So you've gotta, you've gotta be really Yeah, really careful about un unconsciously throwing in the towel. [00:23:00] Just because. Someone isn't necessarily playing the game. I remember very early on in my training career I was working with a co-deliver, a session with a mentor. And we were working with the senior leadership team and I was probably only like 27, 28 tops. and we came outta the session and the guy said to me, he said, did you see what you did in there?
And I. No. He said every time the CCEO smoke, you made yourself just ever so slightly smaller. And I had I really hadn't been aware of it, but every time seeing these, you know, older, more experienced people, I was just ever so slightly physically kind of, you know, bowing down
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: and seeding my status. So I made a very conscious decision in that moment that I was gonna go into those situations from now on.
and just
do me. And for me that's about, you know, being neutral, being [00:24:00] open, being you know, high energized and see what happens. And what was interesting is that alpha behavior of people, you know, lying back and sitting with their feet metaphorically up on the table after a couple of minutes. They very slowly start to 'cause of mirror neurons and matching. They start to it back a bit themselves and come back to where you are. So I think, you know, holding your ground doesn't necessarily have to be adversarial. It's about not about digging in or, you know, being threatening or menacing with your behavior.
It's really just sitting in the moment.
Helen Wada: And it's about being you. So it comes back to being that authentic and there's something a colleague of.
Dominic Colenso: be 65 and have all of the exp experience. You know? I was
Helen Wada: Nor would you wanna be, quite frankly. But there's something that with, when my colleagues and I, when we run our group coaching focus, there's two of us. So it's a little bit different to one-on-one. Although, to be fair, I still do it when working one-on-one. We kind of just [00:25:00] check in with each other before we go into a room.
What three words do you want to be known for? You know, and those will change. How do you want to be? In the room today and you know, that might be warm, engaging, insightful. Yeah, there's three off the top of my head. But actually that physicality of thinking about it and saying it out loud reminds us to hold ourselves at our core because we dunno what's gonna happen when we get in that room.
And those senses that you talk about, you know, again, drawing on the coaching, but. When you are sensing that somebody is not really interested or maybe they just haven't understood what you are saying, we have two choices, right? We can plow on with what we're saying or we can call it
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: And actually there may be different instances where you choose either or, but sensing that the conversation maybe isn't being [00:26:00] followed or that somebody might have a question is really important when you are in that room.
'cause otherwise you could just go completely off track. And I think this is part of the adapting when you're in the moment,
Dominic Colenso: Absolutely.
Helen Wada: You know, in terms of tweaking it, tweaking your story. What else?
Preparing for a Big Presentation
Helen Wada: Thinking about your new book, Dominic. Cut. Cut through the pitch and presentation playbook. Brilliant title.
I can't wait to eat it. But. What else are you seeing that would help the listeners as they're thinking, right, I've got a really big presentation next week. What do I do?
Dominic Colenso: I, I think a big of it is actually, Stripping things back. So for, you know, for most of us, if we're being asked to pitch, if we're being asked to present, being asked to do that because. We are in some way an expert on that thing. Either you know, expert in terms of you've got the job title of head of business development, or you know, territory [00:27:00] manager or expert because you know, maybe in a presentation context, you're giving an update on a project that you've been working on and you've you've been looking after that particular detail of the project. The danger, I think for most of us is that we. to prove how knowledgeable we are demonstrate the facts that we are an expert and, you know, we that people should trust us. And in doing so, we completely overwhelm
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: We just, you know, give people far too much information.
And so one of the core skills of being a great presenter, a great speaker you know. Being able to pitch with impact is to be able to strip that message back and to give people enough that they want to lean in and ask more. So it's about kind of being able to go from the global, everything I possibly could tell you about
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: to the specific, what do you need to know as my audience in this moment? [00:28:00] And that is a real skill. It's definitely something you can learn. But
Sometimes it can be quite uncomfortable 'cause we wanna go. I just, and can I just add this thing and another thing and
Helen Wada: It is a, it's a comfort blanket. The words are the comfort blanket. And I think what you picking up, what you also said there, it's about understanding what is important to your audience.
Dominic Colenso: Yes. Yeah. 'cause it's not about
Helen Wada: Because it, no, and so this is, once you know your story, once you know the value of why you are there,
It's almost, okay, I've got that.
You then have to flip the language, flip what you're thinking about, to think, what do my audience want from me? What do my audience need from me right now? And that could be anything from an introductory conversation. A report out on a project or a full blown pitch on a significant deal that is, is business for your team and your organization.
But the same skills apply.
Dominic Colenso: [00:29:00] Absolutely. And it's, it is about being really specific, you know, really my recommendation is always to start with the audience. Like,
you know,
you know, you've gotta really. Understand once, once you've got the kind of exam question, the important thing that you're gonna be answering, you've the first lens that you've got to look at it through is, who am I talking to? are their needs? What's their style? How do they like to consume information? You know, what can I possibly find out about. These people in order to help me make more connection with them. Because, you know, the success of a pitch or a presentation is basically down to how well
you can
connect as human beings and how well you can take that idea as we. Spoke about earlier and, you know, give it energy and allow them to take it away and ultimately do something with it, whether that's sign the [00:30:00] contract or share what you've said with their team and, you know,
Helen Wada: Yeah,
Dominic Colenso: the information through the organization.
Helen Wada: you, again tap on a couple of things, but it's a, people think.
and
Feel differently. So, so you,
yeah I'm not a data driven per person per se. I'm more emotional. My husband is much more data driven. Understanding who you've got in the room. If you are not appealing to their hearts and their minds, and you're just throwing a load of data at them, you've lost them.
Right.
Dominic Colenso: yeah.
yeah.
Helen Wada: And so it's not just about what you say, but also how you make them feel
Dominic Colenso: A hundred percent.
Helen Wada: and what are they thinking underneath? You know, we talk about what you think, feel, say, and do.
I get people to think about that? You know, what do you want people to think after they've met you? What do you want 'em to feel?
And those are sort of, they're the harder ones to understand.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah.
Helen Wada: Actually, you want 'em to do something, but what is it? They will only do something if you connect with them in a [00:31:00] way that makes sense.
Dominic Colenso: Hmm.
Helen Wada: You translate that to pictures, you know, it's a competitive world out there. And actually, increasingly with AI and data, you know, everybody has got something fairly similar to offer.
We all like to think that we've got something different. But quite frankly, you know, in a lot of cases. There could be three, four more than that. Options
For working on a program or a project or and you have to differentiate somehow.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah, and I, you know, to talk about the kind of AI piece, I think one of the, one of the dangers, I think it can be a really useful tool. One of the dangers of not of using it inefficiently is that it actually adds words and adds, you know, adds to the volume of
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: And your job often in a picture or a presentation, is to help people cut through that. And as you say, identify the different stakeholders that you've got in the room and who needs the big picture and who needs the detail. But there's [00:32:00] nuance in that. It's not just a one size fits all approach.
Helen Wada: And it's about, it comes back to storytelling, doesn't it? It comes back to bringing to life a story. A in a simple, easy to understand way that resonates with your audience.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah, you've gotta leave people feeling different at the end of the conversation than they felt at the beginning. So, you know, that's the barometer is I take them on a journey? Because if they have exactly the same emotional response when you walk out the door as they did when you walked in the
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: then
they're not gonna do anything.
Helen Wada: And you must have seen a number of these pictures in your time conversations, what stood out for you in terms of, you know, maybe a great conversation that you've seen? What have what do people do when it's really landed?
Dominic Colenso: I think it's. There's a level of relaxation always in, in the conversations, in the pictures and the presentations that go well, you know, as [00:33:00] human beings we kind of hardwired for tension. If we see people you know, are under stress. Then of two things happens. We either get suspicious of that stress or we empathize with that stress and we don't really want our audience to be in either of those I don't think so. I think relaxation is really important. And I think as we've said, clarity is just absolutely vital. The people that you want to listen to are the people that can take really complex ideas make them really simple. And you know, despite that simplicity, you still want to know more.
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: and I think that's the sweet spot.
Helen Wada: Yeah. And bringing your authenticity with it, right?
Dominic Colenso: Yeah, absolutely.
Helen Wada: that how you bring to life, who you are, what you do in a way that connects with the audience.
Dominic Colenso: Yeah, I mean, that's always my [00:34:00] when I'm in, you know, training context or if I'm speaking to a, an audience at a conference. I'm very clear my, I'm not here to try and make you communicate like me, like that would be a disaster. Or like your head of sales or like your CEO, you know, that. There are so many ways that we can do this, but what we want to give you is the toolkit that allows you to turn certain things up and certain things down,
Helen Wada: Okay.
Dominic Colenso: depending on the circumstances you find yourself in, because we are all different in different situations. So, you know, I'm different around the dinner table with my family than when I'm in the pub with my mates.
I just bring a different energy, a different
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: And so. The more notes you have to play, the more flexibility you have the more impactful you become because you can adapt
Helen Wada: Yeah.
Dominic Colenso: find yourself in front of.
Helen Wada: I love that the notes. What notes do you play? [00:35:00] Because I, in coaching we talk about sort of different personalities, you know, and who are we and which. Which Helen is showing up today, which Helen is right for the situation. But I love that note analogy because actually it's about singing and humming and tunes and it can bring to life who you are and have that positivity around it as well.
I can't believe how long we've been joking. It's almost these conversations fly. I
Dominic Colenso: out. Helen.
Helen Wada: know
on communication and on conversation and yeah, music and all of that kind of good stuff. Brilliant. Could go on for hours. But actually coming towards the end of this, 'cause I'm conscious that people listening you know, relatively short, I got things to do.
Um, Just listen to you and I whi
away about notes
music.
and
Final Tips and Reflections
Helen Wada: What would be your one tip for listeners, having listened to this conversation around, you know, let's really want to perfect my pitching [00:36:00] and my presence. What would you get 'em to think about?
Dominic Colenso: I think it,
it
goes back to this idea of stop before you start. Like give yourself that moment to breathe or to that your feet are on the floor or to. Think, you know, what is my intention for this conversation and how do I want to make this audience feel? I think it's so easy to kind of go in on autopilot in, into those situations. so your ability to take a moment to get present, to stop focusing on you and start focusing on your audience, that's where the magic happens.
Helen Wada: Yeah, I love it. Wonderful. Thank you. I'm certainly gonna take that away for when I'm I've got whole new things to think about as I'm pitching and talking and [00:37:00] presenting. And we've all got, there's, you know, I joke but actually there's some seriousness in that. And you know, we are both on a journey writing our books and so forth.
And actually I know human wise. You know, the concept that I've created and the human framework, the key is to make it simple and we have to just work at it. It's not something that comes easily, but it's refining it and saying it out loud and saying it again and having a play and getting people to challenge it and say, dunno what you're talking about,
Dominic Colenso: absolutely.
Helen Wada: you know, and so have a bit of fun with it.
Dominic Colenso: Definitely.
Helen Wada: In practice. A good coach loves a good question, so you're not gonna get away with it. What question should our listeners reflect on? Because I do think that offering people a question gets us to think in a slightly different way.
Dominic Colenso: from everything that we've said today, how do I want my audience to feel? It's the one that most people don't actually pay any attention to. [00:38:00] We get, you know, so caught up in, you know, what we want people to know and what we want people to do. How do I want my audience to feel? If you really answer that question and then commit to doing that and making your audience feel that it will completely transform the way that you communicate.
Helen Wada: Wonderful. Thank you Dominic. It's been an absolute pleasure. To have you on the show. That's right. Where can the listeners find you and the upcoming book that there's already one out. So tell us a little bit more about the one that you've written and the one that.
you're writing and where.
Dominic Colenso: So the one that I've written is called Impact how to Be More Confident, increase Your Influence and Know What to Say Under Pressure. It's available on all all good bookstores. You can get it on audible, you can get it on ebook and all of that good stuff. You can find me over at my website, dominic colenzo.com. And if you wanna connect with me on LinkedIn or on YouTube, then I'm sharing lots of. Really useful content on tips and [00:39:00] tricks and all that good stuff for, to help you communicate with more Impact.
Helen Wada: Excellent. Thank you. And when's the new book out? Have we got a date yet?
Dominic Colenso: out in December, 2025, so watch this space.
Helen Wada: Well good luck with it all. Good luck with finishing that writing and I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Dominic Colenso: Thanks for having me.
Helen Wada: That's right. Take care.
[00:40:00]
